A Spark in Dry Grass

Anger one forbids oneself to feel for years does not disappear — it accumulates like dry grass. “Jerk” is the first word Simon has said out loud in three years of silence: a tiny ember of the self that has not yet been beaten out of him.

Psychologically this is at once the healthiest and the most dangerous moment of the chapter. Healthiest — because anger means that somewhere inside, Simon still believes he doesn’t deserve this. Most dangerous — because he has no protection and no support, and his first “no” is met not with respect but with escalation.