Not to Decide

Jacob called neither the dean nor his father: any call would have meant taking Craig’s side against Simon’s complaint — “and he couldn’t do that. Taking the other side — he couldn’t do that either. So he’d done nothing and called it ‘not up for discussion.’” He watched Craig’s two calls come in and didn’t pick up. “The only decision he’d made all week without anyone prompting him: not to decide. And there it sat, three meters away, lacing its cleats.” Then — the name. “The name turned out to be worse than ‘don’t know’: you can live with ‘don’t know,’ but a name means you have to do something.”

Avoidance is a choice too, and it has consequences that fall on other people: the vacuum Jacob left was filled by Priscilla. Psychologically this is the portrait of a man caught between two loyalties who cannot name either one out loud and therefore cannot act within either. Note what he does with the name: he doesn’t tell Simon it was her — “Doesn’t matter. I’ll deal with it.” The knowledge goes into the same row where someone else’s phone call and the keys on the counter already lie. Each such “later” relieves him of the need to choose — and leaves Simon without the information his safety depends on.